Besides, I expect you’re all as sick of pundits second-guessing the causes and consequences as I am, so no discussion of the UE Referendum here. Nuh uh, not on my watch. Instead, I’m going to tell you about the demise of The Rising Universe, aka the Shelly Fountain.
|Don’t panic, they mean the fountain. Kevin Griffin and his Cars are safe.|
|See, you think of Horsham, you think of The Fountain. (Ironically, I found this article on the day|
started taking it down.)
And that’s when things began to fall apart. “You never pay attention to me anymore,” The Fountain would whine. “You need to spend more money on me. I can’t go out looking like this! I need a new dress.”
So stodgy old Horsham, unable to appease his glamorous young bride, began spending more and more time in his garden shed, paying little attention to his increasingly acrimonious wife. (One has to wonder if he discovered her secret, but ignored it and hoped it would go away.)
[Begin Long Side Note]
The Fountain’s secret, by the by, is extremely well kept. I think I am the only one who knows it. Well, me and my barber. I wrote a blog post about it back when Horsham finally cut off The Fountain’s allowance and they began having sparky conversations about where their relationship was going. This happened, I might add, some seven years ago.
But I can’t blame Horsham for taking so long, though; nothing like The Fountain was likely to come along again and I’m sure we’ve all let an old romantic partner hang around even though the relationship has become toxic. You know it’s over, but you don’t have the courage to put a bullet through its head. (The relationship, not the partner. Unless, of course, you’re in Texas.) Relationship Inertia: we’ve all been there.
Here’s the link to that post, if you can’t figure out The Fountain’s secret for yourself. Skip to the bottom, it’s a long and rambling post and only tangentially about The Fountain.
[END Long Side Note]
Anyway, something finally snapped and Horsham has given The Fountain the shove. In truth, it never could have worked. Horsham was disillusioned with The Fountain and lacked the will to keep Her in the style which she demanded. So she’s gone. She’s left a hole, but time and some emotional distance will help fill that in. Not to mention a few Council Workers.
|Taken today: Yeah, she’s a planter now. How fitting.|
And soon EU was treating us like his bitch, and, well, where do you turn? Who can you tell? Oh, it was so…humiliating…(sniff)…sorry…sorry…
(take a moment)
Anyway, like Horsham, UK finally put her foot down. She arranged an intervention and, gripping ‘the talking pillow’ in her lap, she told her pushy boyfriend just what she thought of him.
|Taken Last Week: The slowly decaying fountain, or a metaphor for the EU.Take your pick.|
Let’s hope the same happens for EU and UK.
If you’re been effected by any of the issues raised in this blog, please visit:
Signs of Domestic Violence
or call the HotLine: 00 800 6 7 8 9 10 11