We have a lot to be anxious about, us modern folk. In ages past, anxieties were more severe, but the anxieties, themselves were fewer in number.
Granted, they were more likely to happen, and the consequences were less forgiving, but once you learned to live with the notion that you might die of the plague, or that the crops might fail, or that barbarians might sweep through the valley, life just pretty much bumped along without any surprises.
Anxieties today, while not as extreme, are many, and like the proverbial straws being piled on the back of the proverbial camel, the accumulation can escalate to lethal proportions.
“Is there enough muesli in the cupboard or should I stop and get more after work?” hardly compares to, “Will the children die of cholera” But if you pile up enough minuscule anxieties, they can still add up to a heart attack, especially if you’re not eating your muesli.
We are such an anxiety-ridden people, it’s a wonder we can face the day. Here is just a sample of things that cause our 21st Century,
first-world stress levels to escalate:
|Muesli: eat it or die.|
Used to be, if you took your eyes off your suitcase, someone would nick
it. Now, they call the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, NCIS and a SWAT Team to clear the
area, surround it with bomb-resistant materials and blow up the three shirts,
two pair of trousers and bag of dirty knickers in your Wal-Mart Carry-on case.
|Unattended luggage: it's a killer.|
Swarthy Men With Beards
Come on, admit it, even this guy makes you a little uneasy.
|Beards; favored by murderers|
Remember back before the government brain-washed us into believing we
ourselves don’t actually have the brains to know when the milk has gone off?
|Don't eat it after the Use By Date or you'll die.|
|Standing Water: touch it and die.|
Okay. I’ll give you this one.
We get the message; one sign would have done it.
|Slip and die!|
|Even if they don't give you caner, they can still annoy you to death.|
99.9% of Bacteria
|Use it or die.|
Because bacteria will kill you...
Not Having Enough of the Other .01%
|Yakult: drink it or die.|
...except for this kind.
|It's okay, you can read this, it's safe.|
Now stop your worrying and lighten the fuck up! But be sure to eat your Muesli.